My Weird And Wonderful  Blog

Oh man... sometimes debate really eggs you on... that wonderful 02 incident was just so... I have to say this... Immature... I mean, taking our case when Annbel said "Go and check if you want" was, I agree, all in the spirit of fun... I necer thought someone would actually go through my bag... cos in the first place, the scope of search was limited to Annabel's stuff, I never gave permission for my stuff to be looked through... secondly, if they wanted so badly to know our case, we'd have told them a bit of it... not all, but something is still better than nothing and I'm not as dumb as to give them the entire thing. Ah well, hope this thing blows over... I just hope 02 really doesn't get into trouble for this cos only a tiny tiny minority of them had a hand in this... ah well...

Went down for the A-div finals of the jg's... it was SC vs. IJ TP for the 3rd placing and Acs(I) vs. RI for the finals... the first motion was This House would Reelect Bush and This House Believes that all Forms of Gambling should be Illegal... both debates were'nt very good... as Annabel and I decided... they definitely could have been defended and attacked better.... but the SC 2nd speaker said this really cool line: We would rather see a burning Bush than an America in flames. I had to hand it to her for that one... It was so cool... anyhow, I left before the results were announced... so I don't know the outcomes... but I hope that IJ TP and ACS(I) win....

Child of the Night

Have you not heard
the way you sound?
Have you not seen
the pain you've caused?

Do you even know
there are people crying out
"Abba Father, make him
return to you"?

All this and more
Can you not see?
He's using you
hurting you

Can't you understand?
Your gifts aren't what they seem
Don't let him get to you
Don't. Please.

Come back to God
and you will see
overwhelming love
his abundant mercy

Come back to God
reach you hands out
experience contentment
give a joyful shout

Leave the darkness
return to the light
and Live once again,
O Child of the Night.

*This poem was written for someone. You know who you are.... just wanna say that God's always there... and he's never ever going to let go of you.*

Please note, for once, this day 29th of April, 2004. I, Chow Wen si, skipped class for the first time in my life. Round of apllause? I still have no idea... anyway, if my German teacher reads this, I will be in deep shit... but, to carry on with my motto today: screw everything!!! haha...that felt so satisfying... I skipped german because I though we had to do the project proposal... then Thang had to go and see a doctor about his leg (hope you get better soon)... and Russell was having lunch... so I had a wonderful 3 hours to partially slack... thanks guys :P:P:P anyhow, I hope this doesn't become a habit... I skipped due to the fact that I needed some air... work was clogging me up... and also due to the fact people (esp Wei Ying, Annabel and Alex) have been telling me to relax.... so yeah... it better not become a habit...

I close my eyes when it gets too sad
I think thoughts that I know are bad
Close my eyes and I count to ten
Hope it's over when I open them
I want the things that I had before
Like a star wars poster on my bedroom door
I wish I could count to ten
Make everything be wonderful again
I hope my mom and I hope my dad
Will figure out why they get so mad
I hear them scream I hear them fight
They say bad words that make me want to cry
I close my eyes when I go to bed
And I dream of angels who will make me smile
I feel better when I hear them say
Everything will be wonderful someday
Promises mean everything
When you're little and the world's so big
I just don't understand how you can smile
with all those tears in your eyes
Tell me everything is wonderful now
Please don't tell me everything is wonderful now
I go to school and I run and play
I tell the kids that it's all okay
I laugh a lot so my friends won't know
When the bell rings
I just don't want to go home
Go to my room and I close my eyes
Make believe I have a new life
I don't believe you when you say
Everything will be wonderful someday
Promises mean everything
When you're little and the world's so big
I just don' understand how
you can smile with all those tears in your eyes
When you tell me everything is wonderful now
I don't want to hear you tell me
Everything is wonderful now
I don't want to hear you tell me
Everything is wonderful now
I don't want to hear you say
That I will understand someday
I don't want to hear you say
You both have grown in a different way
I don't want to meet your friend
And I don't want to start over again
I just want my life to be the same
Just like it used to be
Some days I hate everything I hate everything
Everyone and everything
Please don't tell me everything is wonderful now
Please don't tell me everything is wonderful now....


It isn't what I feel, but it more or less sums it up... the mood is there anyway...I'm getting more and more tired nowadays... I'm so afraid I won't be able to give my full 100% in everything... and well... just hope everything will work out for the best...

I hate tuesdays... short yet long days.... I spent a whole ton of time on my beloved space science stuff and the wonderful laptop at school can't open it... I'm kind of depressed now because I have to reset all the urls in the webpage and stuff... and the ppt.... at least I have until tomorrow night... and there's still that ad. for WP to do... aaaarrrrggggghhhhh................... I love doing all this kind of stuff... and somehow I think I should shut my mouth the next time someone asks me to do all this IT stuff... lots of stuff to do today... chinese compo... WP ad, and I have to start on my makeup essay for MI... yeeesh... moral of the story is: don't try so hard to be a perfectionist and a volunteer....life will be lots easier that way...

Alex and I were talking about Sandman comics... he had one of his friend's issues with him... never knew he liked that kind of thing... it's one of those things that aren't him, and yet are him... that's about the only way I can put it... The comics do sound kind of nice...creative and all that, but I don't think I'll read that unless I'm super bored or something and there's absolutely nothing else to do. Speaking of Alex, I finally managed to fix the friendship thingy to his handphone... yay... ....... ........ spent 30 minutes doing it... I'm still wondering if it was worth the effort.... ah well...

Arrrggghhhh..... today is a bad day.... first up was Humans... got shelled by Brian Ang.... but I guess we did deserve it... but it wasn't pleasant... number 2 was German... didn't do homework... forgot to ask for the $6.30 from Frau Schroedorf (at least I think that's how its spelt)... Space science webpage which I haven't finished but am going crazy doing... Gastric during German cos I skipped lunch waiting to pass Alex that stupid little friendship bracelet thingy... MI debate... where 2 of our speakers need training... and research... and our stand sounds ambiguous and weird (to me, that is.) Craziest thing about this whole debate is that we're each supporting different motions... going to be interesting to watch, but hell to prep for... and we only have one week left... good thing there's a lot of people who are good at stuff like questioning and researching... going crazy... I have been listening to the same cd for the third time this night for 3 nights in a row... God knows how well the songs are memorized by me now... I can't be bothered to change the cd because I don't want to get up and change it... I just plump my butt down on the chair in front of the computer for hours at a time... Ah well... such is life......................................

yesterday's IP preview was pretty ok... the turn up was pretty good... however I, the undutiful tour giude, was slacking off in the oasis where debate was going on :P One really hilarious thing happened during Mr. Tan's sample class. He asked the class about the one common theme running through the Matrix, Descartes' First Meditations and Plato's myth of the cave. Clemence's 6 year old sister said this; "What is reality?" haha... *jaw drop*... wonder if he fed it to her or something... but it was pretty amazing.

Oh yeah... I had one of the best gelatos around the place :P it's along that stretch of shops behind school... damn good... :P they had a one-for-one offer, so Annabel and I had one large scoop each, which was really huge. I ate about half of mine and felt very full... so much for having a healthy lunch... I had to give the rest to Aqilah to eat :P I love it when people are around to eat leftovers... :P:P:P However I was compelled to eat at least just the steamed egg from the lunch provided because apparently Mr Ang promised dire consequences or something of that sort for those people who didn't take the lunch and I didn't want to waste the entire thing.

I got back home at about 5, and then I went out for dinner with my parents... in between I played hearts on the computer... so that earned me another reprimand today because I forgot to redo the webpage for space science... haiz... starting to go crazy... and I'd like to bash the head of the idiot who said that weekends are supposed to be times of rest... wait a minute... that's me...

We had the council election speeches today... I brought along a friendship bracelet to do inthe hall, but the teachers began a crackdown on the people not paying attention to the speeches, so I decided not to risk it... sigh... there went another oppourunity to do something like that... Mainly, all the IP speeches were good... esp Keith and Andre. Call me biased... I don't care...Keith sang "Lean on Me" and he was damn good... I didn't know he could sing that well. Andre's speech was, well, typical Andre. But it was good, pretty motivational... I'm still trying to find the right term for it. As for the J1 debators who were running, they were pretty good as well... must have been all those debate sessions, huh? About 85% of the rest sucked. Especially one batch... but I shan't mention which. Lots of people did a William Hung impersonation, which wasn't very impressive... especially since it was cliched, some others sang... which was either very good or very bad. Btw, Aqilah did a wonderful job whacking those candidates. :P:P:P she was one of the few reasons why I didn't skip the rest of the speeches... cos I wanted to see how she'd deal out her next whacks... :D Anyway, I wrote the following poem during a bad stretch of timewhere I felt there were hardly any good campaigners:

I'm bored. It's true.
You're all putting me to sleep
I'm tired, trying to decide, which candidates to keep
Please tell me very honestly
is this all a joke?
Cos from the way it's sounding
This election's all a joke.
True enough there's some of you
Who are rather good.
But these are diamonds and brilliant gems
Few and far between
You can't sing and you can't dance
You certainly can't speak
So in the words of Simon Cowell
What have you got to say?
The 34th council of NJ
Is doomed to bits I think
And so unless by some freak miracle
This impression will not change.

After that I had to dash around school first for the tour guide breifing for tomorrow's IP preview, then to print out and rectify the flyer for Germna, also for tomorrow's preview. Then I had to go off to ACJC for the finals of the B and C div finals and prize presentation. UWC won the B-div championship tittle... I think they deserved it... they were up against st Nick's... There's just something about those st. Nick's debators that just puts me off... I don't know what it is... they seem nice enough, so it just seems unfounded. Wei Ge was tied for 10th place with some other Crescent debator, and we all got a tiny little trophy... somehow, despite what everyone says, i don't think I even deserved it... cos I didn't even speak once... ah well, I'll just take stuff as they come...
After the whole thing, I went off with Alex and Annbel to Holland V for dinner. And my parents had to call up just as we reached there that they were coming to pick me up. Typical. And then they scolded me for not prioritizing my stuff properly... cos I told them that I have to train for track and field meet with my other classmates... and stuff like that... allthe evils of missing maths tuition and chinese tuition came up... so the long and short of it is that I can't rain this weekend, and I don't even think they'll let me watch next week's A div debate finals.... Sorry Alex... :P
I'm really starting to feel that there's this rift growing between me and my parents... I know that they want to do what's best for me... it was ok last year and the many years before that... but since I've been going out after all the debate stuff they start nagging me about my priorities inlife... blah blah... and they're kind of starting to stifle me and think I haven't really grown up yet and can't be trusted... maybe I can't but still... they won't stop treating me as a 12 year old... it's really sad, cos I hate disagreeing and arguing with the ones I love, especially when its my parents... and most of the time, I'm starting to feel emotionally drained and tired trying to make myself maintain my grade, and keep peace with my parents.... and I've been tired this wek esp when ultra-hyper Annabel is around :P:P:P... anyway, I'll keep this in mind:
Wherever you are
Whatever you do,
the fact is there, pure and simple
My hand will cover you.
-God
PS: that wasn't a direct quote from Him.... that was what I came up with, with, of course, guidance from Him :P

Yay... ok... just finished my presentation on Comets and asteroids... hahaha... last night I was pissed off cos my webpage screwed up...so I had to do a ppt for today... stayed up to 12 last night to do it... so none of my homework is undone and I don't even have to present today cos there isn't any time... sigh...

ah well... at least I get to fix my webppage :)

Since I am pretty down and out and tired right now, I shall try and attempt to cheer everyone one out of their Monday blues by the following jokes and insults:

Jokes:
1. George Bush was having trouble with Iraq. Being a Christian, he decided to call for divine assistence. He asked God, "God, I'm having some trouble here. I'd like to call upon one of the biblicle people for advice."
God said, "Alright, fine. Who do you want to ask for help?"
Bush said, "Since my problem is based in the middle East, I'd like to call upon Moses."
God went away to get Moses. After some time, he came back. "Moses doesn't want to talk to you," he said. "Why?" asked Bush. "Because the last time he talked to a bush, he was lost in the desert for forty years."

2. There's this new liberal church in town. It promotes the bible that contains 6 commandments and 4 suggestions.

3. A reporter went to interview this man who'd been going to the Wailing Wall twice a day for 50 years. He asked the man "What do you pray for?" "I pray for peace between all nations and religions, especially between the Jews and the Arabs." The old man replied. "So how do you feel about it?" "Like I'm talking to a wall."

4. One day God appeared to a man. He said, "Since you've been such a wonderful person, I've decided grant you anything you want." the man thought for a while and said, "Well, the thing I want the most is to be able make women happy and give them what they want. Do you think you could grant me that?" God answered, "I can, but the results might not be what you want." The man replied, "It doesn't matter. Just get on with it." Then he turned into a box of chocolates.

*just realised my jokes are all religion-based. Ah well, God made us in his image, so he must have a sense of humour :P "

Insults:
1. I'd like to make a formal complaint against you, but I hate standing in line.
2. I'd like to break you into 2, but who would want 2 of you?
3. Better hide, here comes the garbage truck
4. Your ideas are like diamonds, very rare
5. The next time you wash your neck, wring it
6. If ignorance were bliss, you'd be the happiest person on earth

there's more insults that I know of, but I'll keep them and use them when apropriate. Adding all of them onto here would just spoil the fun :D

BTW, Annabel, get well soon. Then you can come to school and suffer with all of us. :P:P:P

Just finished my webpage for space science on comets and asteroids... after hours of work, it's kind of done... except for the content... I love me :D:D:D
The sermon in church today was called "killing the grasshoppers" it was relly something that hit me hard. God gave us the ability to face anything we have to face because he's by our side and we still lose our faith in him, and think we're inferior... and then I started thinking about debate, and how I thought I really couldn't just go up there and speak because I was intimidated by everything else... I guess the main thing is: trust in God and he'll bring you through. I should really remember that.

Talk about relaxing during the weekend... Today has been one of the slackest days of my life, and I haven't done a single bit of work today...except for maths and space science... which is kind of bad, because there's a whole pile of tiny bits and pieces of homework to do...

I had Napfa 5 items in the morning. I got 3 As and 2 Cs, so yeah... not too bad... After that there was debate... and I have to admit that i couldn't really get the whole main crux of the debate, until after the entire thing.....mainly cos the J1's structure wasn't entirely there, and some of the points didn't come out as they should have, and after that, Alex was speaking too fast...while I could get his main big points, I couldn't entirely get the rest... Went out after that until 3 something, then I went home.

After that I went for the NJ vive dance performance... the dances put up were really good... anyways.... that's about it for today... funny, I don't feel that tired at all... I felt pretty dead after the dance thing

I'M SO HAPPY I'M SO HAPPY I'M SO HAPPY I'M SO HAPPY I'M SO HAPPY!!!!!!!
TGIF!!!! YIPPEEE!!! I can slack i can slack I can sleep... it's fun to be alive...
haha... the long-awaited weekend is here, and I'm happy(as you probably can tell) Napfa tomorrow... just hope I can get at least a D for everything... and get a silver... debate tomorrow as well... and apparently Alex says he and Aqilah are going to thrash the J1s then... I hate to say this, darling J1 seniors, but better you than me :) And as the IP team, we've endured our fair share already... it's your turn now... so anyways, hope we can all go out for lunch together and bond more... :P:P:P
Bad highlight of tomorrow? The PTM... sigh... luckily my parents are only going to see ms Low... BTW, I got a B+ for my GPA... but I think it'll drop this term... cos the last few assignments, I've been pretty don't carish, and my work is seriously last minute and sloppy... ah well, what goes up, must come down... haha... right now I don't really care... THE WEEKEND IS HERE!!!!!!!!!!!

It's been one exhausting day... firstly cos I stayed up to 11.55 or so the night before helping to complete the IS1101 writeup and I didn't sleep until one thanks to that horrible socratic seminar... and then in the morning during atoms to matter I realised I hadn't read it thoroughly enough, so I didn't have the faintest idea of what was going on... and ms Low was so unfair... she told the whole class "Please remember, this is a discussion, NOT a debate. Ok, Wen Si?" seriously, I don't think I'm that bad in class (compared to Annabel, that is. And also cos she sits next to me, so I pale in comparison) and besides, there were people like Liang En and Wei Ge there... and let's face it, they're the REAL debators if you compare the 3 of us. Anyway, I didn't contribute anything so Ms Low had to prompt me and I had no idea of what she was talking about. Ah well... my A grade is ging to drop like crazy from now on... probably to a C...
Then during break, Feifan told me I hadn't included the unfeasibility of the binary star system in the writeup... and that was a really major point, so we had to retype... just goes to show, my mind can't function at night. IS1101 was ok, but I was so tired I think I tuned out a lot...
At the end of the day, I had German... and I was so tired, I wrote the following sentences down... we were supposed to use reflexive pronouns to make 4 sentences.
Ich freue mich auf Schlafen
Ich freue mich auf nach Hause gehen
Ich freue mich auf nach hause gehen
weil ich schlafen kann.
It basically means: I want to sleep. I want to go home. I want to go home, so that I can sleep... that's the kind of gems of wit/crap I churn out when my brain stops functioning. At the end of the lesson, everyone was like: Yay! finally! let's go and do what we want to do! it felt horrible... I had to go home for chinese tuition that started at 6... and I had one summary and one comprehension to finish by then... so I couldn't sleep...
The typical life I lead... on thursdays, that is... thank God I can drop chinese tuition by June.

Just came back from the LOTR exhibit at the science centre... it was one of the coolest exhibits I've been to, and it's a definite must-see for those people who watched the movies. I always thought the movies themselves were really good, but when I saw the exhibit, it made me appreciate all the effort put into the making of it all the more. Annabel lost her wallet when she first walked into the centre. We were just walking, then she suddenly looked down and said "Oh shit, where's my wallet?" It kind of made me nervous, cos she retraced her steps, and she couldn't find it. In the end, it was at the lost and found... people sure move fast.

Things that freaked me out today:
1. The dissection of the pig's eve during class.
That was really creepy. You have this little lump of fat surrounding this glazed, glassy, dull emotionless eyeball. Then you cut it open cross wise and while doing so, the virtoeus humour and the lens oozes out. The humour is black, and it really stinks. But the lens is really cute. That's all I can say about it. Thang gave me this big heart attack when he suddenly dangled this fleshy pink mass of fat in front of me. I screamed. I know I sound like a baby, but it was damn scary and it just looked plain disgusting.

2. The Ringwraith at the LOTR exhibition
Annabel and I were looking at this waxen figure of Boromir lying in a boat and Mr Tan was talking to us. Then he suddenly said "Look behind you" So I looked, and as I did, that ringwraith standing behind me let out this hissing sound, and I screamed again (wonderful. Twice in one day) But come on, one second you're looking at this pretty realistic dead person, the next, the walking dead taps you on the back. How would you feel? It was damn scary.

Today's sermon was pretty good.... "Blessed are those who have believed, but yet have not seen", and "Faith is the assurance of things hoped for, and the evidence of things not seen"... it was a pretty good message, and Rev. Wee is one of the few people who don't make me fall asleep during his sermons :P

All in all it's been a really nice easter sunday... and my parents have finally decided to dump me here alone for a few weeks in may and in October... haha... party time for me. YAY!!! :P:P:P Yeah... it's one of those happy days where I don't have much to say... so I guess that's about it... Jesus has risen! He is risen indeed! Hallelujah! Praise the Lord!!! :D

Today I went to visit my grandfather's grave... It's kind of sad, seeing that he died when I was 3... he missed out on a lot more grandkids ad the rest of our lives... and he was a really nice person, and always gave me raisins every time I saw him :) ... There's so many people who don't deserve to die but actually do... *haiz* ok, no more getting depressed

I went to church after that... it really feels wonderful to know God and Jesus are always there for me everyday... and since it was a combined service, I sat in the sanctuary. And it felt really good to surrender up all the cares of the whole week to God, for once and for all... Life is under control when God is in Control... And it feels even better when you realise, on this day thousands of years ago, Jesus sacrificed his life for us... Because he loved us :)

Thank you for the cross
the Mighty Cross
That God Himself should die
for such as us
and everyday we're changed into Your image
more and more
and by the Cross we've truly been transformed.
And we're so amazed
that we give You praise
That You would save us at such a cost
And we're so amazed
and we give You praise
for the power of the Cross
for the power of the Cross

Thos of you who read my blog yesterday, please don't get too freaked out by it... I just wrote what I felt in one of those rare moments of dispair and stuff... anyways... I take things too much too much to heart... so yeah... I'm ok...(special thanks to Wei Ge, Annabel, and partially to Alex). :) Anyhow, life doesn't suck too much anymore, and Easter and Good Friday's coming up, so yeah... Praise be to God for evetything in life. "All things work together for those who love God" That's the one phrase that's in my head right now. Let's all hope I'll keep that in mind no matter what...

Today was one of the worse days in my life ever since I entered NJC. First big calamity: i got 24/50 for my Humans test. Lots of people will say I'm crazy, but yeah... I'm expected to get an A or a B+ at the very least for my GPA for every module... and now I realised that my GPA for humans is a B... and I got 29.5/50 for Light to life. Haha... calamity no. 2... I was supposed to get higher than that... I'm pissed off with myself right now cos I was studying for those bloody tests... and I expected better of myself...
Next thing was debate... I have this strong feeling that I'm one of the worst debators in IP. Wei Ge and Liang En and Annabel are good, needless to say... Mei San does come up with 'sparks of brilliance', as Alex puts it... and she IS good... next to them, I'm like this tiny insignificant little ant... and today, I have also realised that I haven't conquered my fear of speaking... and that sucks big time... Everytime I go up, I freak out, and I lose my train of thought. And nothing makes sense... once again, I expected to do better than that... just goes to show... ah well... I guess all I need is practice... hopefully I'll improve...

I am very very pessimistic today... and depressed... I really think I get depressed or nervous over every single damn thing, but that's me... if this goes on, I shall emerge from 4 years in the IP as a nervous wreck... that probably explains why I act crazy or weird... cos I need to rid myself of stress... and I'm starting to wonder how I'll face my IP4 year... anyway, I won't cross bridges until I reach them.

God give me the strength I need
Surround me with your love I pray.
For what I face in my own world
I find more overwhelming everyday.

Your Heart is Yellow


What Color is Your Heart?
brought to you by Quizilla


Haha... That was a love test I took... It really sounds apropriate... :P

I have finally finished my WP essay!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!! I'm happy and elated... and I managed to do it with loads and loads of crap.... haha... getting even more crazy... anyways... I guess this blog is finally done... to a ceratin extent. I hate html now... ah well... looks good enough for me :P
Anyway, for those of you who missed Miss Congeniality just now you missed out a lot. I think it's one of the funniest movies I've watched. Ahh... wonderful fateful, beauty contests... and debate... *haiz* I am rambling on and on again (what else is new?). So yupyupz... I guess this was just a celebratory note... cos I finally managed to have a productive evening, and I managed to finish at around 10 (for once this term :P) *grinz* I am so happy... all's right with the world now. :D

I really think I'm starting to go crazy. It's 3.40 in the morning and I can't sleep. So guess what I'm doing? My WP essay that's due on mon. Maybe I can't sleep 'cos my my subconscious feels guilty about not having done any homework at all on Saturday, but if you look at it, I NEED a break. I haven't gotten a nice one-week march holiday break cos I was in Maldives building (or helping to build) a community centre, so technically I haven't stopped working since the actual school term started in week 3. I just realised that my life sounds really REALLY sad... heehee.
As I'm suffering from a writer's block, I've stopped writing my essay. I'll have to finish it later today. I can't think now. Anyway, that essay has started me thinking about my own identity and character traits. If I ask people what they think of me, they generally would go: sweet. Lots of people such as the entire debate socety in NJ think I'm sweet. I seriously don't get it. I mean like, hello? Irritating, yes. Insensitive, yes. Extra and weird, yes. Sweet, NO. Alright, fine, I won't push the matter any longer. But it's stupid.
Coming back to my own personality, I have no idea what else I am. I have this weird inferiority complex that allows me to come up with a long list of faults, but the minute I try to think of my qualities, I come up with zilch. Maybe one or two.
Anyway, I'm off to sleep now... Kind of tired myself out writing... But I think the main crux of my essay is penned down here... *sigh* interspersing debate terms with my speech again... haha... my mind's starting to switch off, so I shall go back to sleep.

Ok.... Fine... so I've created a blog... due to my intense boredom... so yeah...
Hopefully I'll be able to update regularly... but no promises there...

*haiz* We lost to St Nick's last night... but never mind, we're a first-timer team. So that's kind of ok... I mean, we got into the quaters and all... top 8 of the B-div... so yeah... hope everyone cheers up... esp. Annabel, Wei Ge and Liang En. You guys rocked. Seriously. And you were a great team.
I have loads of homework due on mon, and I have no idea how I'm going to finish it, since I'm obviously slacking now and my Sundays are always booked. So anyways, I'm ending off post number one. NJ debate rocks!!! So let's all do our best to beat St. Nick's next year :P