My Weird And Wonderful  Blog

It all started on saturday night... came down with sniffles... and a bit of a cough... On sunday, I stayed at home instead of going to church so I could recuperate sufficiently cos my cousin's birthday party was held at my house... and also to finish my book report... Sunday night I was ok, apart from those sniffles, but I thought those would go away, but then it started acting up again, so my mum just told me to go to school first then call her if I collapsed... In the wee hours of the morning I got a nosebleed... and the sneezescame... This morning I felt like shit during the school... so during mentorship, I asked for a blue slip... went home and slept... and now, I have no idea if I'm better or not... still sneezing, but I feel less run down... arrggghhhh... utter misery... on a brighter side, I managed to recall an utterly irritating song which I learned during missions trip. It helped alleviate my misery in school today, but then I became too sick to sing it :(
I know a song that irritates you
I know a song that irritates you
I know a song that irritates you
And the song goes like this
tum tum...
(repeat until you're bashed on the head :P)
*Sing to the tune of Glory, Glory Allelujah

Depression fit now over... Sickness fit now in... thanks everyone I met over the past few days who put up with me even if I was a bit of an asshole... anyhow... got a blocked nose now... shan't blog a lot...
I got "The Ultimate Cookie Book" from borders yesterday... and baked... and baked... and baked... The recipe book has 402 recipes and half of it looks good... tried baking them, but them didn't turn out quite right... ah well practice makes perfect...
Haven't finished reading Chinese book for book report... don't intend to... I'll just write crap...
Cluster meeting was fun... and I haven't paid up yet... got to know lots more sec 3 people in church...
Wanna sleep now... tired... shall stop blogging...

The reason I haven't blogged for so long is that I've been confused... my thoughts are scattered... and I'm picking them up one by one... and can't seem to connect them in any way... there's this wierd big empty void in me that just seems to be there... it doesn't hurt or anything... it's just there... and I feel this weird apathy towards every thing... I can't seem to feel happy... it's just tiring... and everything seems so distant and far away... I can't seem to connect to the real world about anything... and I realised it today when I went back to school for the GAT briefing... talked to Dot and Karen and Weiling and Tammy... and somehow... I felt as though I was putting on some kind of wierd facade, acting like myself when all I wanted was to go home and curl up on my bed and just stone.... a few days back, I was running along the canal near my home... then as I was crossing the bridge to get to the other side, I looked down and saw a stream of water running sluggishly along... and I realised how easy it was to just die there... just bend a bit more over the side and just fall... a broken neck later and you go to hell... interesting proposition... it sounds freaky, but yeah...
I'm just sad... downright depressed... one of the DTS people who were with me in camp told me she had a vision of me being this tree, this seedling in a desert and there would be stresms of life that was God's word that I would grow from... if that's the case I think I'm withered... dead and gone... and I don't even know what kind of life I'm leading now... what my purpose in life is... whether my faith in God is withering...
Hasn't exactly helped that I can't seem to get any of my friends to talk to... haven't talked to Annabel for ages... Delia is rushing a whole ton of last minute homework... and Alex isn't picking up his phone when I call... life sucks for now... just hope I'll be able to get through this...

I have been nothing but a pig today. And it feels good... :P
I came back from dinner with my family at around 1... so I slept at 2.30... woke up at 9.30, slept from 11 to 1, went out for lunch with my family, came back and slept from 3 to 4...
It's kind of like my body just decided that today would be sleep day so I crashed.... in effect, today has been the most uneventful, unproductive day in my life... and I love it :P

It wasn't entirely uneventful though. I'm supposed to perform at my church's 9 and 11 am services tomorrow... the last for us mission trippers... and my mum blew up... cos she said it's taken up a lot of my time... and I have to be in church by 8.15 so that means that everyone has to wake up at 7.30 on my account... and in my family, it's tradition to be 10 minutes late for service. For this once, they'll be early for service, but I'll be the one late... so I offered to go down on my own... but my mum blew up even more... sigh... so now I'll be late... all because my wonderful family wants to go down to church as a whole... bleargh...

Came back from missions trip yesterday night... The whole thing was fun but really really tiring... there wasn't any air con in the places where we performed, so all of us were sweating like crazy. I had to wear stockings during the performances cos I was doing a ballet item, so it was even more unbearable. I think it was one of the most meaninful trips i've ever had, mainly because I felt as though I'd done something worthwhile for others for the first time in my life. And somehow, I heard God telling me,"This is what I want for you" Maybe it's His calling, but I guess I'll have to pray about it.
This trip helped me grow a lot more in my walk with God, and I it's wonderful experiencing firsthand what He's done to impact others.

Came back from camp yesterday... so tried I just dropped off to sleep at 9 and didn't really wake up until 6 the next morning... it was fun, especially duing the performance parts because we could dance a lot... but tiring and difficult... I've discovered that dancing can never become a professional career for me :P Been able to be in touch with God more so during the camp than during any ohter point of time... It's been wonderful getting closer to Him...
Missed Alex a lot though... didn't bring handphone or wallet... so I had to borrow my friends' phones to sms him... he called once... and I didn't really have a long chat with him cos I didn't want to run up my friend's phone bill... thanks a whole bunch Claudia... O generous hand phone lender... :P
Off to missions trip tomorrow... pray for all of us, that we may rach youths out there, and that we can be blessed by Him to bless others... pray for protection and guidance too... and strength and endurance...

BTW, went to watch Harry Potter today... not a very good film... If you want to watch it, read the book first... If you've got better things to do, do them instead of watching... it's a forgettable film... they should have tried to rephrase the plot instead of summarising it cos it seemed as though bits of it were just chopped off...

Anyhow... goodbye to my dearest Alex and this wonderful computer and internet connection till the 14th of June... till then, bittersweet parting and tears... :P

YAY!!! just finished my MI and WP essays... :P so happy...
now all I have to do is finish packing for camp and I'll be done for tonight...
resolutions when I come back from camp:
1. finish maths (at least) and chinses homework by the end of the week
2. CLEAN UP MY ROOM. you should really see how messy it is...
3. Go out... (with Alex :P)
4. Have loads of FUN
5. RELAX
6. Sleep
As can be seen, my holiday schedule will be packed... :D
for now, off to missions camp... may God bless us all and grant us health and journey mercies :)

Never knew I could feel like this
Like I've never seen the sky before
I want to vanish inside your kiss
Every day I'm loving you more and more
Listen to my heart, can you hear it sings
Telling me to give you everything
Seasons may change, winter to spring
But I love you untill the end of time

Come what may
Come what may
I will love you
until my dying day

Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place
Suddenly it moves with such a perfect grace
Suddenly my life doesn't seem such a waste
It all revolves around you
And there's no mountain too high
No river too wide
Sing out this song I'll be there by your side
Storm clouds may gather
And stars may collide
But I love you until the end of time

Come what may
Come what may
I will love you
until my dying day