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Saturday, March 26, 2005

This morning, I woke up, expecting a normal day, swimming in the morning, then doing some work, then going to church in the afternoon for the youth Easter service. Little did I know how dramatic and awesome this day would turn out to be.
In the afternoon, I remembered that I had cell group just before service, and I hadn’t done any of the chapters in my book yet. So, when I had woken from my nap, I settled down to bible study. I read about God’s Will, not for my life, but about God’s Will for us in general, to keep the utmost faith in Him and abide in Him as He does in us.
During cell group, this issue of keeping God’s faith came up over and over again, and how we must indeed let go of everything in order to follow him properly. We talked and talked about it, little knowing how God would show us His might and His power.
When service started, I still remembered what I had learned during Cell group, and I had a certain sense of anticipation as the evening wore on. When the Rev. Miguel Escobar came up to speak, he said something utterly different from what I had expected. I expected one of his normal, humorous sermons and that would be that. He talked about the youth of today becoming the prophets and leaders of tomorrow, telling all of us how much faith he had in us. I sat up straight, and listened. Somehow, this message seemed meant for me. And when he talked about faith, having the faith in God that could lead men to do great things with His might and power, the cell group’s discussion suddenly had a deeper meaning.
After the sermon, an alter call was made. Normally I would have just sat there, and let all the other people go up and rededicate their lives to God. You see, I had gone up a few times, and I thought it would all be the same. You go up, feel the presence of God a little stronger than before, you thank God for it, and then you sit down again. However, when this alter call was made, God told me, “It is time” That phrase came to me all throughout Rev. Escobar’s prayer, and I started waiting impatiently for this precious chance to let God finally take over. So I walked down the aisle, and just stood in front praying for God to reveal himself. I stood there and prayed, and I started to shake all over, as though something indescribable was moving like a huge wave over me. And when everyone else was singing “Lord I give you my heart, I give you my soul, I live for you alone,” I was trembling violently. And I told God, “This is what you want. I’m giving everything to you. I’m letting go and letting You take charge.” By then, people were being slain by the spirit, falling to the ground every time Rev. Escobar touched them. And I realised that God needed me to surrender myself completely and utterly to him. I began to pray harder. And when he started another prayer, emotions welled up inside of me and I began to sob. As I sobbed I gave everything up to God, and there was nothing left but joyful anticipation. When I moved up to the stage, I just waited, and waited. And I wondered how everyone around me could just drop from the touch of one man. But I shoved those thoughts aside, and told myself that nothing else mattered except God. So when it came to my turn, I just let go. And instead of falling, I was caught by people behind me. And I felt the Holy Spirit coursing through my body, and I felt as though my soul was a hundred times lighter. My body was still shaking and I was in the presence of God.
When I sat up again, I felt this stupendous awe of God. And when the worship leader sang “Lord I give you my heart, I give you my soul,” I started trembling again. And the tears came, tears of joy, that God had finally taken all my burdens away and had replaced it instead with a hearts full of joy and peace. And as I was prayed over by someone, I could only say, “I love you Lord,” over and over again.

God never pushes us to go to Him. He tells you, and it’s all up to you whether or not you want to follow him. Letting go of everything isn’t easy, but God prepares us all for the tasks which he knows we cannot handle. The past few times I’d gone up for an alter call, I wasn’t willing to give up everything for God; but later I learned through Him that he will give us what we need. And so when I gave up myself to him, I was filled with His grace, and was renewed by His Spirit.

Jesus said to Simon Peter and Andrew, “Come, follow me, and I will make you fishers of men.” And they left their nets and followed him.

Tuesday, March 22, 2005

I solemnly vow that I will BURN each and evry one of my chinese books after the O-levels... regardless of whether those dratted volumes will be necessary in the future as my only link to chinese... really REALLY tired today... thanks to a chinese test... grrr... but I guess I did relatively ok as compared to the rest, cinsidering the fact that I could only study my zao ju only this morning, due to the fact that I lost my sec one ci yu shou ces...

speaking of tests, I did ok for assessment week... technically did not fail any of my tests, but now have C for MA2102 down on my record... damn pissed... I was aiming for a grade no lower than a B overall... and now my maths has dropped from the As and A+s it was last year to a C... sigh...
Managed to pass all my tests this time round, including physics... Thank God... did ok for humans... Thank God again... just hope everything else will be ok...

I've finally started going back to Youth Service... I like it so much better there than the Adult service... everything there is just dead... I'd rather act my age, not feel it, when I'm worshipping God :P
Easter service at 5.30 to 9.30 this saturday for PLMC youths :P Whoever wants to go, please call me... :P

I think that's about all... signing off...

Monday, March 07, 2005

I have FINALLY gotten my ez link card and IC... yayay!!!!
sad thing is, I'm failing everything... diediedie...
depressed not cos of my parents... but cos I'm supposed to be doing better... but am not...
why's life filled with these ups and downs? I wouldn't mind a flower-strewn path all the time.

Saturday, March 05, 2005

test week is over... so happy happy happy...
I can finally breathe and do whatever I want to do... even the biosphere brochure doesn't seem that bad... just find a few pics, slap it on... write some nice stuff and it's done :P:P:P

A level results came out yesterday... methinkgs a lot of people didn't do as they expected to do... sorry for them... cos I know they really studied very very hard... it always sucks...
On the other hand, it was fun distributing the college annual... so hard to believe that it's finally done... and it looks so good... black with silver embossed letters and a nice, pretty butterfly... it 's so wonderful... :P Please buy the CA... $13 dollars a copy, including a copy of the grayvine CD, whose content was done up by yours truly... :D

having finished with tests and the distribution of the CA, I went to lido to watch A series of unfortunate events, which was damn funny... it's so hilarious and Jim Carey is good... :D Went to watch it with Annabel Yihern and Cheng Wei... Damn fun talking to them as well after the show...

Ah well... off to enjoy my temporal but new-found freedom...

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