Thursday, July 22, 2004
I am starting to really think that us IP students are seriously pissing everyone off with inconsideration and selfishness... don't get me wrong, I don't mean the whole level, but some of us... during the past 2 weeks, people who don't have lessons have been talking at the tops of their voices, and really running round the whole level, and screaming... plain inconsideration in my opinion... cos there's lessons going on, and there's hardly any attention paid to those people in those classes who are trying to concentrate... and today, after rollerblading, Mr Tan had to yell at us after we boarded the bus cos some of us left guards and trash lying round the place... I mean, if Mr Tan (who is considerably mild-mannered and patient) has to yell at us, then something is seriously wrong... and I think that we're seriously pissing the other teachers too... and I think it's especially unfair to them cos they put in their utmost effort to see that the IP succeeds, and all some of us students do is complain about things (ok, maybe not this term, but it definitely happeed last term) the teachers try to help us, and the least we can do is help them, and appreciate what they do for us... but some of us don't see that and still complain, or even worse, do stuff that pisses them off... granted, it might have stemmed off from thoughtlessness andcarelessness but I guess we should really have to change our attitude...
All this probably sounds very picky but it's true...
All this probably sounds very picky but it's true...
Got my GPA back on Tuesday... it dropped from 3.67 to 3.58... not supposed to be depressed or disatisfied according to the other people in class 'cos I don't exactly have anything to complain about... my maths dropped from an A+ to A... Atoms dropped from an A to B thanks to that horrible test... Bio dropped too... down to a C+... my worst grade ever...
my parents think that I'm slipping... and it's a great calamity(to them, that is)... and Virginia Cheng and Mrs Tan have both been tracking my progress, and they're of the opinion that I'm worthy of a 3.8-3.9 GPA... blearrgghhh... external pressure is building... and now, I don't know how I'm going to deal with it... I'll either fall back such that I can't be bothered, or I'll really pressurize myself until I go crazy... either option seems decidedly unfavourable... but yeah... Newton's law of gravity applies here... what goes up, must come down...
my parents think that I'm slipping... and it's a great calamity(to them, that is)... and Virginia Cheng and Mrs Tan have both been tracking my progress, and they're of the opinion that I'm worthy of a 3.8-3.9 GPA... blearrgghhh... external pressure is building... and now, I don't know how I'm going to deal with it... I'll either fall back such that I can't be bothered, or I'll really pressurize myself until I go crazy... either option seems decidedly unfavourable... but yeah... Newton's law of gravity applies here... what goes up, must come down...
Thursday, July 15, 2004
Elections for debate and college pub have come and gone... college pub was interesting... debate ran up my phone bill.
Start off with college pub... Andrew is now president... not very surprised... I think he deserves it... Ben and Yi Hern are now subeditors... the 3 top people are from the same class... so apparently it roused some objections from the teachers... archival manager is Annabel... bit funny somehow... design and layout is Jurena... don't know who she is at all...and IT director is Yuka, who was a last minute entry... quite surprising that she asked to go in at the last minute, cos' I was the only one running for that post :P talk about walkover... not that disappointed anyways... cos I only signed up for it cos they needed to run for the post and to my knowledge I was the only one who knew the stuff...
Debate was wierd, cos only 4 of us turned up: Ben, Hui Ren, Malvika and me. So ben and I had to call up the rest of the people to get their votes... then annabel kept on ringing up and talking nd asking about the progress of the results and all... In the end the seniors told us to go home and wait for the results to be announced the next day. Anyways, Andrew (again) is president, Wei Ying is Vice Pres (You rock!) Ben is secretary (Kond of like Alex in a sense that he can be bitchy, but they show it oh-so-different ways) Head of Training is Wei Ge (you go girl!) and Annabel is IP head (to be expected)...
Came off with no post at all... quite ok with that... cos that means I can slack... and not have to take any flak(or if I do, I'll only be shouldering a minority of it) since I'm not in any of the excos (breathes in deep, heaves out a sight of relief) that means I can also hold on to my perfroming arts ministry at PLMC... right now, that would take some precedence over everything else... it's about the only thing I can really, truly care about... and be passionate about it... In fact, I think I've always been passionate for dance... I love it... and as for God, I need more grounding somehow... my relationship with Alex kind of threw me off... so yeah... have to get back on track...
Start off with college pub... Andrew is now president... not very surprised... I think he deserves it... Ben and Yi Hern are now subeditors... the 3 top people are from the same class... so apparently it roused some objections from the teachers... archival manager is Annabel... bit funny somehow... design and layout is Jurena... don't know who she is at all...and IT director is Yuka, who was a last minute entry... quite surprising that she asked to go in at the last minute, cos' I was the only one running for that post :P talk about walkover... not that disappointed anyways... cos I only signed up for it cos they needed to run for the post and to my knowledge I was the only one who knew the stuff...
Debate was wierd, cos only 4 of us turned up: Ben, Hui Ren, Malvika and me. So ben and I had to call up the rest of the people to get their votes... then annabel kept on ringing up and talking nd asking about the progress of the results and all... In the end the seniors told us to go home and wait for the results to be announced the next day. Anyways, Andrew (again) is president, Wei Ying is Vice Pres (You rock!) Ben is secretary (Kond of like Alex in a sense that he can be bitchy, but they show it oh-so-different ways) Head of Training is Wei Ge (you go girl!) and Annabel is IP head (to be expected)...
Came off with no post at all... quite ok with that... cos that means I can slack... and not have to take any flak(or if I do, I'll only be shouldering a minority of it) since I'm not in any of the excos (breathes in deep, heaves out a sight of relief) that means I can also hold on to my perfroming arts ministry at PLMC... right now, that would take some precedence over everything else... it's about the only thing I can really, truly care about... and be passionate about it... In fact, I think I've always been passionate for dance... I love it... and as for God, I need more grounding somehow... my relationship with Alex kind of threw me off... so yeah... have to get back on track...
Monday, July 12, 2004
I have done a review of the last 2-3 weeks of my life and I have found that it's gone downhill, for a number of reasons:
1. Church ministry: Performing arts
this sucks big time... I want to dance, and if I can do it for God, even better. Thing is, my mum won't let me, because she thinks my work is going to suffer. She thinks I can't say no and refuse to participate in a performance if its required of me to do so... so she won't let me try... and when I told her I was going to give it a 6 month trial period first, she blew up... sucks big time, and she won't even trust me to make my own descisions.
2. Alex is still on my mind... basically shitty and all that cos I can't seem to focus right now... and everytime I lose my focus it always drifts back to him... break up sucks, and it huarts even more when I realise that it was in the works for a long time... it's probably a good thing that I'm not seeing him around in school these past few days... up till now I have no idea how to talk to him, or how to treat him... and I can't be friends with him, not yet anyways...
3. Enrichment week was basically the thing that created the worst feeling of the lot... brought the rest of it into culmination. Came to school, spent 3 hours in the hall doing some crappy thing on leadership and then only to be told that German would proceed as usual, meaning that around 4 of us would have to skip rollerblading class... so I spent 1 1/2 hours after maths runnoing round the whole IP level and Frau Schraudolf's office trying to find a compromise... when I finally got it, and was ready to blade, it started raining, with thunder and lightning thrown in. So no blading, watched the core instead (which had a really crappy ending) which made the whole day more tiring than ever.
Just so tired now... There's lots more I'm trying to figure out in my life... everything seems to have been upended in one whole moment. Just wish I could go to my room, and make the rest of the world and my troubles disappear... Interesting thing was, I told my mum that I was just depressed, and she told me that this man Kumar (a guy who goes to KKMC) passed away due to an accident... so she told me to put things in perspective... I could have died... funny sort of consolation... one that sucks...even if its true...
1. Church ministry: Performing arts
this sucks big time... I want to dance, and if I can do it for God, even better. Thing is, my mum won't let me, because she thinks my work is going to suffer. She thinks I can't say no and refuse to participate in a performance if its required of me to do so... so she won't let me try... and when I told her I was going to give it a 6 month trial period first, she blew up... sucks big time, and she won't even trust me to make my own descisions.
2. Alex is still on my mind... basically shitty and all that cos I can't seem to focus right now... and everytime I lose my focus it always drifts back to him... break up sucks, and it huarts even more when I realise that it was in the works for a long time... it's probably a good thing that I'm not seeing him around in school these past few days... up till now I have no idea how to talk to him, or how to treat him... and I can't be friends with him, not yet anyways...
3. Enrichment week was basically the thing that created the worst feeling of the lot... brought the rest of it into culmination. Came to school, spent 3 hours in the hall doing some crappy thing on leadership and then only to be told that German would proceed as usual, meaning that around 4 of us would have to skip rollerblading class... so I spent 1 1/2 hours after maths runnoing round the whole IP level and Frau Schraudolf's office trying to find a compromise... when I finally got it, and was ready to blade, it started raining, with thunder and lightning thrown in. So no blading, watched the core instead (which had a really crappy ending) which made the whole day more tiring than ever.
Just so tired now... There's lots more I'm trying to figure out in my life... everything seems to have been upended in one whole moment. Just wish I could go to my room, and make the rest of the world and my troubles disappear... Interesting thing was, I told my mum that I was just depressed, and she told me that this man Kumar (a guy who goes to KKMC) passed away due to an accident... so she told me to put things in perspective... I could have died... funny sort of consolation... one that sucks...even if its true...
Thursday, July 08, 2004
broke up with Alex... just so churned up inside... I feel sad... unbearably so... I just wish there was some other way around it... but if we waited he'd have grown too impatient and too frustrated, and I'd have become too constrained... as it is... it just sucks... big time...
Alex ssaid we'd be friends for now... and it's the only thing we can be now... but the only thing is if I can genuinely be a friend... aggrrrhhhh... confused now... been listening to New Radicals "Someday We'll Know"... somehow the only song that's stuck in my head now... guess it says enough...
Someday We'll Know
90 miles outside Chicago
Can't stop driving
I don't know why
So many questions
I need an answer
Two years later, you're still on my mind
Whatever happened to Emilia Earhart
Who holds the stars up in the sky
Is true love once in a lifetime
Did the captain of the Titanic cry
Someday we'll know
If love can move a mountain
Someday we'll know
Why the sky is blue
Someday we'll know
Why I wasn't meant for you
Does anybody know the way to Atlantis
Or what the wind says when she cries
I'm speeding by the place where I met you
For the 97th time tonight
Someday we'll know
Why Samson loved Delilah
One day I'll go
Dancing on the moon
Someday you'll know
That I was the one for you
I bought a ticket to the end of the rainbow
I watched the stars crash in the sea
If I could ask God just one question
Why aren't you here with me?
Someday we'll know
If love can move a mountain
Someday we'll know
Why the sky is blue
Someday we'll know
Why I wasn't meant for you
Alex ssaid we'd be friends for now... and it's the only thing we can be now... but the only thing is if I can genuinely be a friend... aggrrrhhhh... confused now... been listening to New Radicals "Someday We'll Know"... somehow the only song that's stuck in my head now... guess it says enough...
Someday We'll Know
90 miles outside Chicago
Can't stop driving
I don't know why
So many questions
I need an answer
Two years later, you're still on my mind
Whatever happened to Emilia Earhart
Who holds the stars up in the sky
Is true love once in a lifetime
Did the captain of the Titanic cry
Someday we'll know
If love can move a mountain
Someday we'll know
Why the sky is blue
Someday we'll know
Why I wasn't meant for you
Does anybody know the way to Atlantis
Or what the wind says when she cries
I'm speeding by the place where I met you
For the 97th time tonight
Someday we'll know
Why Samson loved Delilah
One day I'll go
Dancing on the moon
Someday you'll know
That I was the one for you
I bought a ticket to the end of the rainbow
I watched the stars crash in the sea
If I could ask God just one question
Why aren't you here with me?
Someday we'll know
If love can move a mountain
Someday we'll know
Why the sky is blue
Someday we'll know
Why I wasn't meant for you
Tuesday, July 06, 2004
Haiz... majorly bummed out... failed my IS1103 test today... got 26 out of 30 for it... I studied for the stupid test... and well... sight... needless to say, I haven't told my parents yet... they would skin me alive if they knew...
So tired lately... haven't been blogging much... cos I can't be bothered to cos there's nothing worth blogging or I'm so tired I just want to sleep...
went for the creative writing workshop today... it was really interesting... FelixCheong is a really nice guy... it's fun and rather intriguing...
So tired lately... haven't been blogging much... cos I can't be bothered to cos there's nothing worth blogging or I'm so tired I just want to sleep...
went for the creative writing workshop today... it was really interesting... FelixCheong is a really nice guy... it's fun and rather intriguing...
Thursday, July 01, 2004
At last... my final Chinese tuition lesson has come and gone... surprisingly not elated at the fact that I no longer have to slog every Thursday to memorize Chinese... strangely not resentful of having lost an hour every week for the past 2 1/2 years to tuition... it feels as though semblances of my old school life are slowly slipping away... and I'm not so sure if I'm changng for the better... or for the worst... Last year, the only close friend I ever had was Delia, I only went out with her... used to hate all lessons, dreaded going to school... definitely no bf... tuition was mandatory... and now, not that I love school, but it's relaxed, and I can think and breathe... tuition seems only like a hindrance that took my precious time... and now I'm wondering if I'm changing too... ah well... as Jo Chean, camp commandant of the PLMC boot camp 2004 said, "Live for tomorrow... Seize the today"... don't know how it applies here... but somehow I feel it does...
