Monday, May 16, 2005
I started out my weekend with good intentions: to study, to study, and then to study some more... but due to unforseen circumstances, I choose instead to sit at the library in American club, leaving the last 2/3s of my notes unattended, and read... damn...
I really don't know what's gotten into me... is it the pressure of needing to score at least a B for all my tests that's working in reverse psychology? or is it the fact that... well... never mind... I shall not dwell on that... rather, I CAN'T dwell on that... ah.... to have a heart as cold as ice... to not to be able to feel anything... maybe I won't get so distracted... and maybe I won't be the pushover my mother always says I am...
Life, with its ups and downs, never fails to bewilder me... I don't know what I should be doing now, or ever at all... and I just feel... well, that I shouldn't be here... and that I should be somewhere else...
Or maybe its a silly guilible mind that always thinks that life isn't all that its cut out to be... and so I wait... maybe forever... for a fairytale to come true which never won't... and so as I wait, my conciousness slips away from what my life truly is... and then my whole being will just... disintegrate... one day...
I really don't know what's gotten into me... is it the pressure of needing to score at least a B for all my tests that's working in reverse psychology? or is it the fact that... well... never mind... I shall not dwell on that... rather, I CAN'T dwell on that... ah.... to have a heart as cold as ice... to not to be able to feel anything... maybe I won't get so distracted... and maybe I won't be the pushover my mother always says I am...
Life, with its ups and downs, never fails to bewilder me... I don't know what I should be doing now, or ever at all... and I just feel... well, that I shouldn't be here... and that I should be somewhere else...
Or maybe its a silly guilible mind that always thinks that life isn't all that its cut out to be... and so I wait... maybe forever... for a fairytale to come true which never won't... and so as I wait, my conciousness slips away from what my life truly is... and then my whole being will just... disintegrate... one day...
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